Post by Ginny Weasley on May 28, 2007 19:53:07 GMT
Dear Diary,
It's only a week till I go back to Hogwarts now. Beleive me, I can't wait. It's been so miserable around here for obvious reasons and it's making me feel even worse than before. I'm trying to forget that when I go back to Hogwarts, Harry won't be there. My heart sinks at the thought. Trying to remember our times together, I find everything goes like a blur. Hermione has been staying for the past week. She's taken to coming two weeks before we go back to Hogwarts and then she comes with us to Diagon Alley. Her parents got a bit creeped out when they last went.
She understands how I feel more than anyone. Harry was, and I suppose still is, her best friend. But she can't understand completely. That's not her fault though. She isn't the one who stupidly fell in love with Harry. But it's not stupid, it's real. I love him and I ache for him. I pray he comes back alive. I cry at night, remembering our first kiss. The only thing I can cling to in memory of him is my new possition as captain of the quidditch team which Harry once held.
It's scary to think he won't come back to me, never be in my arms again, never kiss me. Tears roll down my cheek as I write. I can't think of him without crying. The whole family has avoided talking about him in front of me, though I know they're aching to. This is just making me feel worse. Maybe if I could tell them how I'm feeling, it would hurt less. Hermione did talk to me about him, but spoke very subtly, waiting for me to react before she proceeded. I let out my feelings to her there and then, both of us sat on either end of my bed. I cried, tears running down my cheeks, my eyes turning red.
She hugged me, tried to calm me down, but at least she can talk to me about him. It's as if everyone thinks I'm a bomb waiting to explode and the minute they mention Harry I'll blow up. It's stupid though. When I go back to Hogwarts, I hope everyone will be like Hermione. Maybe then, I'll be able to talk about him without bursting into tears. I can't imagine being without him for the rest of my time at Hogwarts. He has to come back, he has to.
Love, Ginny x
